i was bored so i wrote about my year

Wow, life has gotten dramatically better since the beginning of the summer. I was seriously on suicide watch almost completely though June and July. But that wasn’t me. That was the medication. For all of you to understand I will backtrack a bit before I get to the drama at hand.
My name is Kelsey Brooke Nelson and everyone calls me Kelz. I’m a sophomore at south Medford high school in Medford Oregon. The meth capital of the states. I tried fitting in at the begging of freshman year. You know American eagle, Abercrombie, look like everyone else, talk like everyone else, be a complete bitch to everyone else. But that was def. not my thing.
I got over that phase very quickly and its not something I’m proud of. Now I am myself and if anyone tells me different they have another thing coming. I am quite the pessimist and I admit it too. I tend to see the worst in things and I get depressed really easy. But I try not to blame that on myself when my family is in hand and ready to be the scapegoat.
Its genetics. My moms on depression medicine and god knows what else since I was in 7th grade. God knows I could go into that year. But I wont, to spare you all tears and uncomfortable feelings. So anyway this year things where starting to look up. I found myself, Kayla moved back from California and kicked me right out of fit in mode, I found my true friends no matter how small the crowd. I met chris my best friend in the whole entire world. Good things were happening.
But of course I could not keep myself happy for long. I started getting very sick. So I finnaly broke down and when to the dr. its def. not my favorite place on earth. I don’t even think its in the top million places. Buried alive in the catacombs is above going to the dr to me. So you see it was quite a big thing. Anywhoodles. I went to the doctor and they told me I was getting sick because of the medicine I was on to make me less ugly (aka acne meds) so they took me off of that and put me on birth control.
That is what started everything bad. I have never liked how I looked. I actualy despise how I look. I think I’m fat and ugly and gross. So when I started the bc and my face started getting acne-ish I was not a happy camper. To make things more awesome I had BAD reaction to it, and I didn’t know that it was the medication. I tried to kill myself a couple times and I would cry for at least 2-3 hours a day for no apparent reason.
Finnaly the day before the 4th of July I overdosed on it on accident and almost died. I had a fever and I was shaking uncontrollably and just balling. I told my mom I didn’t know what was wrong with me. She hated being around me I know because all I could do was cry and I was developing an eating disorder. But that day was the last straw. She called the doctor and told them what happened and they said it was the bc and they wanted me off now. After I stopped taking it I was so happy. I didn’t cry all the time and I could enjoy things. I’m still enjoying every bit of my days minus the crying.
About 2 weeks ago I started talking to a boy that my friends and I call japes. I always would wave at him in the halls and smile at him whenever I saw him. Even though I didn’t know him. He was just very friendly and cute. (even though he hates for people to tell him that) and last week he asked me out. In the cutest way possible! The day before he had come over with my friends to watch Donnie Darko with us and the next night I went to his house and we watched a movie about Eskimos. Yes not the most exciting movie in the world but still. Right before I left he quoted Donnie Darko and said “hey, will you.. You know… go with me? I mean.. that’s what we call it here..” it was so fucking adorable! Maybe just to me but I thought it was great.
So all this week I have been drooling over my fabulous new bf and naturely nothing goes right in my life and he told me that he has to go to a phycologist this week to be tested for paranoid schitsofrenia.my life is gwtting alot like the movie donnie darko. creepy huh? Ya, doesn’t seem real does it? Well in my life it is.